Reflections on life after finishing the latest Harry Potter book
Firstly, let me say that I don't believe that this entry has any Harry Potter spoilers in it. It's just that my thoughts may be affected by the emotions I felt as I read the end of the most recent book.
Secondly, let me say that I do not really hate Katie. Katie is actually a fairly cool person and I enjoyed getting to meet her in Colorado. The previous entry was posted mostly because she herself told me to post something of the sort (although I'm sure she has no recollection of that event and probably has never read the entry in question anyway).
And thirdly, it's been awhile. And of course, I choose to write an entry at 1am while I'm half-asleep. Good choice, Justin. I think this one belongs more under the category of entry that the "To be alone..." entry was in, whatever category that is. It's probably the one that's titled, "Entries I wish I hadn't actually posted to my blog but that I'm too stubborn to delete now." Nonetheless, here goes...
So I got back from Colorado a few weeks ago. And by "back," I mean "back to Wisconsin," which is by no means as good as saying, "back to Orlando." But to my great surprise, I found myself quite enjoying my time back here at my parents' house. Much more than I had enjoyed my time here back in May. I was definitely enjoying my time alone, after the bustle and commotion of the National Staff Conference in Colorado. Another reason that I think I was enjoying my time here was because my head was no longer spinning (like it had been in May) because of a girl that I knew better to get involved with in the first place. I was alone, and I enjoyed it. I was content. That is, until a week and a half ago...
As some of you I'm sure know, the basement of my parents' house was flooded because of a backflow in the city sewer. And my bedroom was in the basement. Now all of my stuff is fine and dandy, but the room is not. There are a few gaping holes in the floor of it now since it needed to be cut into in order to get the space under the floor dry. So I'm without my bedroom for months. Luckily, my parents have a guest bedroom upstairs, so I do have a real bed and some limited space. Unfortunately, most of my stuff is either piled up against a wall in my bedroom downstairs or is piled up in the garage (and that includes half of my clothes and almost all of my underwear...it's always a joy to have to go out in the garage to get a fresh pair of underwear for the day).
So the living situation has gotten much less enjoyable. I've been mourning the loss of the basement. I miss the rest of the basement just as much as I miss my room. The basement was pretty much my little apartment within my parents' house. I had my bedroom, a TV/living room, a bathroom, a fridge, and a microwave or two. What else do you need, really? And now it's all gone. It's weird how the mourning has taken place. I find myself thinking back to times I had recently spent in the basement and wonder what it would have been like if I knew at that time how quickly things would turn sour. And strangely enough, it's very similar to the mourning that I found myself in shortly after the situation with the head-spin girl turned sour back in May. I would think back to conversations I had recently had with her or times that I had been hanging out with her and wonder what it would have been like if I knew at that time how quickly things would turn sour in that situation. It makes me wonder... Did I replace her with my parents' basement? In fact, it was strange how I suddenly felt very lonely after the basement was no longer there, whereas before that time I was very content and satisfied to be alone. In fact, I felt so alone that I even initiated contact with head-spin girl, something that I didn't expect to do until I had returned to Orlando. It was a short, but encouraging conversation.
Nonetheless, I now feel more alone. But it's not a hopeless aloneness, it's definitely a hopeful aloneness. For I know that God is with me during support raising, and He'll get me through this trial. I feel very resolute in continuing to press on in support raising with all I've got, for that's what God has for me right now. And maybe the loss of the basement isn't such a bad thing after all. For I'm not sure that being content in a place that's not my home is all that good of a thing. And the closest place that I can call home on this earth is definitely not here, but in Orlando. I'd much rather be content there than here. For if I'm content here, what motivation do I have to leave?
So bring it on. I can survive without a basement, and even thrive, since I have more desire to finish support raising and get back to Orlando now than I did when I had a basement.
Alright, time to sleep.
Secondly, let me say that I do not really hate Katie. Katie is actually a fairly cool person and I enjoyed getting to meet her in Colorado. The previous entry was posted mostly because she herself told me to post something of the sort (although I'm sure she has no recollection of that event and probably has never read the entry in question anyway).
And thirdly, it's been awhile. And of course, I choose to write an entry at 1am while I'm half-asleep. Good choice, Justin. I think this one belongs more under the category of entry that the "To be alone..." entry was in, whatever category that is. It's probably the one that's titled, "Entries I wish I hadn't actually posted to my blog but that I'm too stubborn to delete now." Nonetheless, here goes...
So I got back from Colorado a few weeks ago. And by "back," I mean "back to Wisconsin," which is by no means as good as saying, "back to Orlando." But to my great surprise, I found myself quite enjoying my time back here at my parents' house. Much more than I had enjoyed my time here back in May. I was definitely enjoying my time alone, after the bustle and commotion of the National Staff Conference in Colorado. Another reason that I think I was enjoying my time here was because my head was no longer spinning (like it had been in May) because of a girl that I knew better to get involved with in the first place. I was alone, and I enjoyed it. I was content. That is, until a week and a half ago...
As some of you I'm sure know, the basement of my parents' house was flooded because of a backflow in the city sewer. And my bedroom was in the basement. Now all of my stuff is fine and dandy, but the room is not. There are a few gaping holes in the floor of it now since it needed to be cut into in order to get the space under the floor dry. So I'm without my bedroom for months. Luckily, my parents have a guest bedroom upstairs, so I do have a real bed and some limited space. Unfortunately, most of my stuff is either piled up against a wall in my bedroom downstairs or is piled up in the garage (and that includes half of my clothes and almost all of my underwear...it's always a joy to have to go out in the garage to get a fresh pair of underwear for the day).
So the living situation has gotten much less enjoyable. I've been mourning the loss of the basement. I miss the rest of the basement just as much as I miss my room. The basement was pretty much my little apartment within my parents' house. I had my bedroom, a TV/living room, a bathroom, a fridge, and a microwave or two. What else do you need, really? And now it's all gone. It's weird how the mourning has taken place. I find myself thinking back to times I had recently spent in the basement and wonder what it would have been like if I knew at that time how quickly things would turn sour. And strangely enough, it's very similar to the mourning that I found myself in shortly after the situation with the head-spin girl turned sour back in May. I would think back to conversations I had recently had with her or times that I had been hanging out with her and wonder what it would have been like if I knew at that time how quickly things would turn sour in that situation. It makes me wonder... Did I replace her with my parents' basement? In fact, it was strange how I suddenly felt very lonely after the basement was no longer there, whereas before that time I was very content and satisfied to be alone. In fact, I felt so alone that I even initiated contact with head-spin girl, something that I didn't expect to do until I had returned to Orlando. It was a short, but encouraging conversation.
Nonetheless, I now feel more alone. But it's not a hopeless aloneness, it's definitely a hopeful aloneness. For I know that God is with me during support raising, and He'll get me through this trial. I feel very resolute in continuing to press on in support raising with all I've got, for that's what God has for me right now. And maybe the loss of the basement isn't such a bad thing after all. For I'm not sure that being content in a place that's not my home is all that good of a thing. And the closest place that I can call home on this earth is definitely not here, but in Orlando. I'd much rather be content there than here. For if I'm content here, what motivation do I have to leave?
So bring it on. I can survive without a basement, and even thrive, since I have more desire to finish support raising and get back to Orlando now than I did when I had a basement.
Alright, time to sleep.
posted by jbirdjavi at 12:56 AM
2 comments
